Unguarded
by Marish89
Summary: Gibbs still remembers Jenny, but when Kate comes into his life, will she change what he thought was impossible? Includes Twilight, but doesn't follow the storyline regarding Kate from the End of Season Two.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: 

He remembers the day that their relationship ended. He remembers that their relationship had ended in Paris, in a hotel suite, in the same hotel where they first made love. He had just gotten back from the meeting, when a gunman had entered the room and threatened him. Taken by surprise he had no chance to defend himself, and his partner and lover had rescued him from the situation.

_"Just tell me what you want?" she had begged the armed man. _

_"I want information," he had replied, digging the pistol further into the side of Gibbs' head. _

_"About what?" _

_"The Undercover Mission you are both on. I want to know who authorised it, or I shoot him." _

_"Jenny, don't," he had yelled at her, but she was going to give information anyway, he could see the emotion behind her eyes. _

_"A friend. He asked for help in a Federal Investigation. All I know is that we have to find information about a terrorist plot," the man's fingers tightened around the trigger, "I don't know anything else, I swear. Please, don't hurt him," she yelled desperately. _

_"I believe you," the gunman stated before asking one final question, the question that would tear their relationship apart, "Do you love him?" _

_Not knowing if the gunman was going to hurt him regardless of her answer, she used the Agency Policy, "No, he means nothing to me. He's just a good lover, but nothing more." _

_With her response, the gunman left the room quickly, leaving Gibbs and Jenny in awkward silence. _

_"Jethro," she began but was cut off. _

_"No, Jen. You gave him your answer. I guess I really do mean nothing to you," he paused before whispering, 'Bye Jen." _

_"No, Jethro, wait!" she called after him as he left, he didn't turn around as he walked away. _

That was six years ago, and he remembers like it was yesterday. He thought about it every night until the day that _she_ came into his life, two years ago. He met her on Air Force One, and he felt an immediate attraction, one that he hadn't felt in almost four years.

Her deep brown eyes, and dark hair captivated him, so different from the woman he longed for. Maybe that was why he was attracted to her, he didn't know and quite frankly, he didn't care. Throughout the first case they worked together, he became aware that she was also attracted to him, and he used that attraction to solve the case. And in the end, it had been his attraction to her, rather than her skill, that had propelled him to offer her a job under his command.

As they worked together for months, he noticed that her attraction to him seemed to grow, and he generally used that subtly. But after only four months of being under his command, and late one evening being confronted by him, she had declared simply, that she was in love with him.

Although he knew that he didn't love her, he had swept her into a passionate kiss, that she had returned with equal passion and eagerness. Later that evening, she had spent time in his basement, and learnt about his past with his previous lover.

She understood that he would never love her, but she didn't care. She was with the man she loved, and even if he could never love her the way she loved him, it was enough to simply be held by him. He remembers the night she told him of her love for him, like it was yesterday, and can't believe that she could love someone like him.

_"Kate, what are you doing here this late?" he asked, finding her sitting at her desk, looking sadly at a photograph. _

_The moment that she heard his voice, she quickly place the photograph in her desk, and locked the drawer. _

_"I'm just about to go home," she said, packing her things and standing, moving toward the elevator. Once inside, she simply said, "Good night Gibbs." _

_Curious as to the reason of her strange behaviour, he walked over to her desk, and unlocked the drawer, pulling out the photograph he found inside. As he looked down at the contents of the photograph, he gasped. It was a picture of him, that she must have taken when he hadn't noticed or had gotten it off Abby. He wasn't looking at the camera, but his piercing blue eyes were locked onto something in the distance. Gently, almost reverently, he turned over the photograph and saw a small note written in her impeccable handwriting. _

_'Gibbs, _

_If you're reading this, either you're snooping or I have passed away. Either way, it doesn't matter, because I have a confession to make. _

_The moment I saw you on Air Force One, I was attracted to you. You had this commanding personality, and you portrayed a bastard really well, but I saw something under the surface. Something simpler, sweet and gentle. I guess you could say that was the beginning of it all. It was that attraction that compelled me to accept your offer, for a position on your team. _

_Little did I know that working with you would be complete torture. Not because you were a bastard, not because you almost worked us into the grave, not because you never told us what was going on, but because of your rules, the rules that you follow regardless of anything else. Because of your damned rules, I couldn't be with the one man that I had ever truly loved, and that was torture. _

_Seeing you with that other red-headed woman, knowing your past about red-heads, seeing you flirt with other women but never me and knowing that you would never feel the same because you still longed for another woman of the past. _

_I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm in love with you, and I think that I always will be. I know you don't feel the same, but I would have loved to have told you, if I was alive. And if I am, I would love to have told you in person, rather than you finding out this way. _

_Please, if I am alive, just know that I don't want anything from you. I'm fine knowing that you don't love me, but please don't change the way you think of me, now that you know. _

_If I have passed, please know that I never meant to cause you any guilt in knowing how I felt. I just want you to be happy, and content with life, and not dwell on the past. _

_Love always, _

_Katie.' _

Still in shock of reading this heartfelt note, Gibbs remained seated in her chair, inhaling the gentle and sweet perfume the lingered. Coming to a sudden decision, he quickly put the photograph in the drawer before locking it, picked up his coat and left hurriedly.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

Reaching her apartment building, he paused at her door before knocking roughly. A few moments later, a sleepy voice floated through the door.

"Who is it?" she asked, looking through the peephole to identify the person on the other side.

"Gibbs," he said, before the door was opened, by a surprised Kate.

"What are you doing here, Gibbs? Do we have another case?" she asked, blocking the inside of her apartment with her body.

"No, I," he paused, unsure how to continue, "I wanted to talk to you."

"About?" she asked, not budging.

"Can I come in?" he asked, trying to postpone the argument he knew was about to unfold.

"Yeah, sure," she acquiesced, moving aside to allow him to enter her neat apartment.

Looking around, he suddenly felt unsure of what to do. This feeling, though not new to him, was unwelcome.

"Do you want anything to drink?" she asked, motioning him to seat himself on the couch.

"Yeah, a beer would be great," he said, sitting on the surprisingly comfortable couch.

Softly, she nodded and headed off in the direction of what he assumed was a kitchen. Taking a chance to poke around, he looked at the images the filled her living area. One of her with the President, one of her family, one of the Christmas Party they had gone to three months earlier, one of her and Abby and one of her and another girl he didn't recognise.

He was holding the last image when she entered the room, "That's my sister. She passed away last year, cancer."

"I'm sorry," he said as he accepted the beer and moved to sit on the couch once again.

"Why are you here, Gibbs?" she asked once more as she sat in the chair across from him, tucking her legs underneath her.

Knowing this was the time for him to come clean, he began, "After you left, I was curious as to what made you so sad and –"

"You looked through my desk, found the photograph, read the letter, and decided to come here to talk to me about it," she finished for him.

Embarrassed, he simply nodded and looked down.

"Gibbs, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, it's not that. It's just, I don't know what to say. I don't want anything to change between us."

"That's fine. I wasn't expecting you to suggest change. It's fine the way it is."

"How?" he asked, surely if she loved him like she claimed, it would be horrible seeing not being able to tell him.

"I've learnt to cope. It's not the nicest thing to see the man you love flirt and leave with other women and knowing that the woman can never be you. It's not easy to see him in pain longing for something that he thinks he can never have."

"I never meant to hurt you, Kate."

"I know," she said, seemingly finding this conversation not at all uncomfortable, compared to Gibbs's feeling of extreme discomfort.

There was a small pause before she continued, "I don't expect anything from you."

"I don't know what to do," Gibbs told her, in a rare moment of insecurity.

"Don't do anything. Just forget this conversation ever happened and leave it at that," she said, though she felt her heart breaking.

"How, Kate? How am I supposed to forget that the woman I work with is in love with me?" he asked her incredulously.

"I'm sorry. I'll resign tomorrow. Don't worry about it, Gibbs. It won't be a problem," she said, though she felt the makings of tears behind her eyes. Suddenly she wanted this conversation to be over and him to leave, so that she could be alone and cry for her broken heart.

However, Gibbs, astonished at what she had suggested, was overcome with an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time. Gratitude, compassion, and wonder passed through him, the thought that she would sacrifice her happiness and contentment just so that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

Suddenly, he reached forward and gently kissed her. Shocked, though pleased at his actions, she returned the kiss passionately, deepening it instantly. When they broke apart, she rested her forehead against his and asked, "What was that for?"

"I'm sorry, I just, um, I," he stumbled, uncharacteristically flustered.

"It's fine. I'm just curious why. I mean, we just had a conversation about that fact that I love you and you don't love me, and then you kiss me. I just want to know why?"

"I honestly don't know. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she repeated, "I don't mind, I just want to know, but I want to know you better, Gibbs, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me now. Please don't," she begged. Kate wasn't sure that her heart could handle him not being able to be around her anymore.

"I'd like that, Katie," he said before once again gently reaching forward and kissing her once more.

"Come," he said, as they broke apart, gently pulling her up.

"Where?"

"You wanted to learn more about me, so we're starting right now."

With that comment, he draped a cardigan over her shoulders and pulled her gently along and into the car, heading toward his house. When they reached his house, Kate gasped at the site of it. Silently, he walked with her, opening the door and leading her down to the basement.

"My boat," he told her as she gazed in wonder at the beauty of the masterpiece in creation before her. Softly, she walked down the stairs and approached the boat cautiously, as if it would run away, and she reached out a hand and slid it tenderly over one of the beams making the frame of the boat.

Gibbs watched her from the stairs, and felt something in his heart that he had never felt before. Unsure but determined to find out what it was, he observed her from afar and was only pulled from his thoughts when he heard her calling his name.

"Gibbs?" she asked, holding out a tool on the bench, "Can you teach me?"

He nodded before grasping the sander she was holding and beckoning her over. He instructed her on how to correctly sand the boat into shape and when to use what force. While he bent over her subtle frame, he felt her breath hitch at the nearness of him, but attempted to ignore it.

Together, they sanded, planed and shaped the boat into the early hours of the morning, and when Kate was too tired to work further, she sat in the chair in the corner of the basement and quietly observed him, until she fell asleep.


End file.
